A Man Musing

I have been following the Men’s Rights Movement and various corresponding websites since I began going through a divorce approximately two years ago.  I began because I was looking for help and ideas on how to ensure I would be afforded equal access to my children through the courts.  But now that the divorce and custody process has ended, I am still very much interested in this subject, and even more so, as I have a son, and I don’t ever want him to go through the hell I did, just to be considered an equal parent to his children.  I am also a Catholic who believes that Marriage is my moral obligation if I am going to be a partner with a woman.  Yes, I know, I am in an impossible place.

One thing I have noticed, and an area that I feel is a real weakness in the Men’s Rights Movement, is the lack of religious consideration and application.  I have surmised from most of the posts and articles that many in the Men’s Rights Movement are not religious, fair enough, I can completely understand a total apathy towards religion and God.  But I also believe that some, as myself, do identify with a religion we care about.  As I look back at movements that have made significant changes in the courts and minds of the United States, such as Racial Rights, Women’s Rights, and Feminism, Workers Rights, Prohibition, etc. they have all been driven through religious channels.  The Men’s Rights movement should be no exception and its up to those of us who do consider ourselves “religious” to take it to the church.

As proponents of Men’s Rights, we have a strong argument that appeals to Judeo/Christian values of family, basic fairness, and equality, and we should vocalize them within our churches and communities.  Recently I have heard several churches deploring the “crisis” of Gay Marriage advocacy.  Most often we see the churches point to the idea that Gay Marriage is a threat against the sanctity of marriage and the family, which traditionally has been established to ensure that children have access to a mother and father.  In a way, this is true.  Study after study have shown that a mother and a father is the most healthy environment for children, however, children aren’t getting that right now with heterosexual marriage.

I have to point out, as should all Men’s Rights activists, the Churches have missed the boat and they did it years ago as they were by and large embracing and accepting feminist doctrines with no evaluation as to their effects on marriage and the family.  Only now that homosexuals would like to marry are our brilliant religious leaders realizing that marriage is under a threat, and trying to mobilize against the threat?  Really?

How can a church morally and honestly worry about the cheapening of the institution of marriage when as a nation nearly half, if not more,  of marriages end in divorce anyway and churches do little to nothing to stop the trend.  Some statistics put it higher than 50%, if true, there is more a chance of marriage failing and being simply a past experience of life, than a life long institution and partnership.

News Flash to our pastors, priests, bishops, elders, and televangelists:

MARRIAGE IS ALREADY CHEAP to the point of being completely without value.

At least for the men.  Women generally walk away with some money and often un-earned assets (Women are the majority of those who file for divorce, surprised?).  Dear ministers and Shepherds of the religious, if you want to take a stand for marriage and increase it’s integrity, then start working on the actual issue of marriage and divorce.

If you want marriage to be respected and held in esteem then fight to end the single direction financial rewards for divorce, end the tearing of children away from a parent (generally a father) with no presumption of equal time and parenting, end no-fault divorce, make marriage something worth being defended.  Then you will help regain your moral authority on the issue of marriage.

Until you deal with the problems of marriage between heterosexual couples, you will have an impossible time convicting people, many of whom have been divorced or were the children of divorce, to defend the very institution and injustices that you have ignored when it comes to keeping the family intact!  Let your pastor, priest, bishop, or elders know to stand up for Marriage, Men’s Rights in Marriage, and the Family, or shut up about Gay Marriage!